[00:00:00] My crack addiction had got up to about £1,000 a day. I couldn't tell you how much I've smoked. But I would imagine I could have bought the entire street that my parents live in over the three decades that that stuff got hold of me. Crack cocaine nearly killed me on several occasions. You know, we sat down one day and started having a discussion about funeral music. That's how grim it got. This grey mist came into the living room and started to turn everything light, and then Jesus appeared at our door. I've had four operations in total. I've got no natural bones left in my ears. It's all plastic surgery. So I shouldn't be able to hear again. So I'm just about to try and get out the door, and Kevin catches me again. He says, "Can I pray for your ears?" I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, you can." So I took the hearing aids out, and he started to pray for a creative miracle, speaking to the bones and the eardrum and the canal. And he said the prayer, and when I left there, my ears started to whistle. It was almost like I could hear the sound of the waves, but I'm nowhere near the sea.
[00:01:22] Martin, you were deaf for 10 years, but then you were completely healed with a simple prayer. Take us back. Where does this story begin? All glory to God. I think I need to say that first because I read something somewhere once and it struck a chord with me. It said, um, our human resources as marshaled by the will were not sufficient. They failed utterly. And that is a massive part of my story, is my human resources marshaled by self-will failed me utterly in every area of life because there was no Jesus there. Um, so if I go right back, I, um- Um, I'm not, I'm not one of those stories that had a really rough upbringing, so I can't pin it on anything.
[00:02:22] I can't pin it on trauma. I can't really… You know, I don't really have that sort of excuse, if you like, for where my life took me or where the enemy took me, which I know now. Um, and I'm just gonna be guided by the Spirit because the story can be very fleshly, and I wanna make sure that that in any way doesn't start tapping into any sort of ego, because I know where that can go. So I'll be guided by the Spirit where he wants to take me. Um, I think the first thing I would say is that I try to honor my parents now.
[00:03:06] Um, uh, sadly that wasn't always the case, but they raised me as best they could with what they had, and, uh, what they had was some morals, uh, some good work ethic, um, not a great deal of love and affection. You know, that being said, I don't know if I would've been open to accepting it, but, um, I have one sister, two parents, quite a small family, if I'm honest, you know? Not a bunch of cousins and, you know, very small family. And, um, I lived in the same house all my childhood and for part of my adult life as well.
[00:03:45] Um, and what I would say is that there was a, there was something always niggling at me throughout life, and the real, the real truth of it is that it weren't that I didn't feel good enough, 'cause loads of people say that. I thought everyone was better than me And I know that's round about the same thing, but that was the narrative in my mind. He's better than me, he's taller than me, he's stronger than me, he's better looking than me, you know, and it was al- it was always that kind of mental comparison, and it would lead me down loads of rabbit holes, you know.
[00:04:22] Well, he's got a better body than me. Well, I, I probably should go to the gym then. And with me, everything's extreme. Everything's extreme. Uh, you know, if I'm gonna go into something, I am gonna absolutely go into it, and I'm gonna give it everything that my self-will has got, and I've got an incredible drive when I want something. Um, and I now know where some of that drive comes from. So the real long and short of it, I didn't have a great education. I finished school. There was no major hiccups. Um, you know, I wasn't one that got expelled.
[00:05:00] I just don't have that sort of story, you know. I did all right. I flew under the radar. I weren't nothing special. Um, nothing major happened. Uh, one significant childhood experience would've been, uh, when my dad committed adultery, uh, on my mother with his secretary, and, um, he, he used me as a pawn in that, in that game, if you like. Uh, P-A-W-N for the, for the podcast as well . So he used me as a, as a pawn in that game, if you like. So he would take me to her flat, and I could hear stuff going on in the other room, but they just kinda put me in the kitchen with, like, some Cadbury Flakes and Wis- like chocolate, you know.
[00:05:51] Um, you know, keep him quiet. But I could hear what was going on. I wasn't silly. Um- And, and my dad then sort of took advantage of that situation by, you know, trying to get me to keep quiet. But mate, I suppose I was always a bit of a telltale and a mummy's boy, so I, I just told her. And, uh, within a couple of weeks I helped my mum to pack his cases and, and leave him outside the front door. I think I was about 12 years old. Uh, and I went into school the next day, and it just come up in conversation.
[00:06:26] I remember a friend of mine said, "You all right?" And I'm like, "Yeah, yeah. My dad moved out, uh, this morning." And he's like, "Wow, mate, you all right?" I'm like, "Yeah, I'm all right." But I wasn't. I, I wasn't all right, you know what I mean? I, I was not all right with that, you know. My dad went from hero to zero overnight, you know? And, and there, there's, there's a, there's a lot of stuff around that where I could see now in hindsight where demonic doorways were opened, and where the trauma was that created these wounds that, you know, almost, you know, four decades later I, uh, have had the privilege of the Lord healing me and delivering me from those things.
[00:07:18] I would've, I, I would like to say, you know, that's where the trauma and, and, and demonic activity ended, but unfortunately it wasn't. Because as I carried that wound, and I thought I'd buried it, everything was okay, I hit the rebellious streak, um, as most teenagers do. Um, and then I just fell into a crowd of people, and we started to go out to the jungle raves and the drum and bass scene, and it was fresh. You know, it was fresh, and it was dark, and I liked dark. Um, you know, and I'd go all over the country, you know.
[00:07:59] I went to Lid Airport to a Welsh dance, and went on the Hearts and Diamonds on a pill, you know, on a, on an ecstasy pill. You just gotta do it, don't you? You know, you only live once. That was the attitude. And, um, I fell into that scene and, uh, uh, and a genuine love for that music, which I now know is, you know, not the best music to listen to, and it sparked a massive inter- music's been a huge part of my life, and I think on some level an escape, um, on, on some level. But hindsight's a great tool, but it's the ability to look back and, and maybe not see it in the moment.
[00:08:39] You s- you see it looking back. And, um Yeah, music deeply impacted me And then obviously that opened up the, the whole drug scene for me. And, um, you know, I won't go through a whole drug log, you know, but I worked me way up the substances until they got to, you know, class As. And, um, what I will say for the sake of this testimony, and it's important, that crack cocaine nearly killed me on several occasions. And, um, I've known people to, to, to go out and, you know, smoke, smoke a couple of pipes and, and, and be dead, you know?
[00:09:31] I, and I'd never say this for egotistical purposes. I couldn't tell you how much I've smoked, but I would imagine I could have bought the entire street that my parents live in over, over the three decades that that stuff got hold of me. It just runs into silly money. And, um, growing up, you know, we weren't without, but we wasn't… You know, I was a bit ashamed of living in Dagenham, you know, so I'd say I live in Essex, 'cause there's some nicer parts of Essex than Dagenham. So, um, you know, I, I've always kind of spoke with an Essex accent and, you know, I'm not looking to change that.
[00:10:11] I think, you know, God gives us a personality. He wants us to live holy, but, um, I, I believe he allows us to keep our personality, but we do need to tidy it up. And, um, shortly after, I just became a drug addict. You know, that's the real truth of it. Um, if I went to work, I always had some drugs in me pocket. When I was at home, I always made sure I had a little set… I always had, always had cannabis wrapped around me all the time. And then, you know, I'd dabble in a bit of buying and selling and that sort of thing.
[00:10:49] Always… I suppose the real, the real shame of it is the only thing I ever really aspired to be was a drug dealer. And, um, and I wanted to be a good dad because I felt that my dad had let me down, you know? So I got with, uh, my ex-partner, I think when I was 20, 20 years old, and by the time I was 22, we had three children, uh, back to back to back. And as difficult as this is to admit, probably 'cause it's a bit shameful, um, I was not physically attracted to this woman. Um, I didn't love her.
[00:11:36] In fact, I actually despised her. And, um- I had stayed there for 10 years and I found a way to just cope. And the real truth of that, me staying there, 'cause all my family would say to me, "When are you gonna leave her? We know you don't like her. When are you gonna leave her?" And, and, and the real honest answer was, I'm not sure I could because I know I wouldn't see my kids again for a very long time. And that turned out to be true. You know, there was almost a decade of not seeing the children, um, you know, as a form of punishment if you like for, for leaving her.
[00:12:19] But it wouldn't be fair just to say that's the main reason. I think ultimately we, we have come to learn that, uh, when I left, that was part of the punishment. Um, resentment fueled and, you know, the enemy loves to tear apart a family, uh, you know, and, and get his claws into the kids early on. So I mean, by this time, by the time I left, I was, I'd been a drug dealer for seven years. Um, I started to, um, grow and cultivate cannabis in, uh, I think at the height of it, and again, not for, not for show, but I th- I think I had 14 rooms in operation around that time, and the money was just flowing in.
[00:13:13] You know, it, it was flowing in. You know, there wasn't… And it was lucky that it was flowing in because my crack addiction had got up to about 1,000 pound a day. Um, so it was quite… And, and that's what I mean by I've, I've, I've smoked a lot of that particular drug and it's nearly killed me on a number of occasions because, you know, you don't eat when you smoke that stuff, you're barely putting any liquids in. Um, and it was just a horrific time. Uh, addiction is horrific. It's completely demonic, and I know that now. It's, it's, it's, you know- It's one thing that a cocoa plant even exists, but it's the enemy's handiwork to turn it into a substance that you put on a pipe and smoke.
[00:14:05] I mean, God's not doing that, is he? So I didn't know I was under such oppression. I just thought that was my life. I, I just couldn't see past it, you know? And, and the, and the thing is, you know, if we wanna talk about God, I'd have to say that money was my God for a very long time, and I think the Bible calls it mammon, and, um, driven by it. And the thing is, I could smoke that amount of drugs, and if I still had money left, I'm not seeing the problem. I know what I'm doing's wrong, but I'm doing it by myself.
[00:14:46] The kids are not exposed to it. I'm doing it away from the house, you know, ma- mainly in the car. I'm driving about smoking crack all day when I'm supposed to be at work. By this time I'd become a, a union rep. I worked at Ford Motor Company, and I'd become a union rep. I learned how to use my mouth quite quickly and effectively. And by the time I got voted in to the union, um, that was it. You never really done any manual labor after that. Um, and I, and it was all corruption and I, and to be honest, my flesh loved that corruption, you know.
[00:15:22] Um, I can remember a particular time where, uh, the Ford management team were going through some disciplinary procedures for a couple of the staff, and we were in negotiations of, you know, they said, "Well, we're gonna sack one of them." And this is the tr- we just flipped a coin on someone's future, and we got paid well for it. You know, we, "All right, you can have one of them, but this is what we want. You know, we wanna be paid for every Sunday, but you're not gonna see us on double time." You know what I mean? Driven by money.
[00:15:57] Didn't matter to me that that man had a family. It didn't matter that that man, uh, it did- I did not care. It did not matter to me. So, um My employment from Ford Motor Company came to an end I think in 2008 or 2009 officially. And by that time I'd already left my ex, uh, found another ready-made family, got, got with someone for a period of time. Um, baby number four of mine was eight months old when I left. So lo and behold, I got with someone that had a nine-month-old kid and, uh, and, and a, and a slightly older kid, you know.
[00:16:41] And it was almost like a, a family replacement, uh, thing without me even knowing it. And it was destructive. We were smoking crack together and doing all that stuff, you know. Um, 'cause, 'cause my, my, my ex with the kids, she would never do any drugs. And I was just like, "I wish she would so I could just put up with you." So that's kind of how I, how I looked. And it's a terrible way to think, but that was how I was. I just thought, "You could be more bearable if you was off your face." Um, and, and it's selfish because it would just be more bearable for me.
[00:17:18] Um, I'd like to say that I did an okay job of raising me kids the time that I was there, but my parental capacity was limited, you know, because of the toxic environment, the long hours at work, you know, 12 hours a day, sort of five, six, seven days a week sometimes. Good money coming in. I didn't even need to work that long 'cause I was doing things on the side. I just didn't wanna be wrapped round the ex, you know? So I, um, I, I found a way to make myself absent. And when you're looking after 14 cannabis grow room operations, you're always out.
[00:17:57] You've always got something to do, you know? Um, but I would come home from work most days and I would cook the kids a meal, you know what I mean? I, I could do that stuff. I'm quite domesticated. I, you know, me mum taught me a lot of things in that area. And, um, I can, I can say I had some limited success with raising the kids, but the truth of the matter is that parental capacity can only stretch to three or four days on the trot and then Martin's gotta go missing. Martin needs to take care of Martin, and Martin needs to smoke crack to feel normal.
[00:18:36] And that's not a, a normal statement, but that's the truth. Um, that's what was going on. So my time come to an end at Ford's. Uh, and Ford's was a big part of my life. I worked there for 11 years. And, um, I can remember during that time, the reason I got voted into the union was because my co-union steward, um, his dad was the actual convener, so he ran the whole union across the, uh, estate, and we were all growing drugs together, all of us. Uh, we were all making money. And sadly, uh, my co-steward, his son got leukemia.
[00:19:16] He was only 10. Wasn't his biological son. But we done a collection for him and we managed to send him and his wife and, and the boy to Florida. He got to swim with a dolphin. And then he, he got into remission. You know, he, he started to recover and, um, you know, that was, that was great. I don't know the Lord at this point. I don't, I don't know anything about anything. I don't know anything about faith. Uh, I don't know anything about recovery. I, I don't know what that … 'cause I'm meant to be doing drugs, so I don't wanna know about any of that stuff But sadly, that leukemia came back and, uh, it, it, it needed like bone marrow transplant.
[00:19:57] Sadly, um, you know, he got it back and a couple of months, um, before what I'm gonna tell you happened, I had, um, I had a people carrier, like a Chrysler Voyager. Do you remember those? And, and, uh, I sold it to this guy for cash, but I didn't pay off the finance. And the day that that 10-year-old boy died, um, the same day the bailiffs turned up unbeknown to me and, and what I considered my friend turned up to retrieve the vehicle on the day that, that his son passed away. And, uh, the, they're from a family of travelers.
[00:20:40] Now there's a price on my head and, uh, I need to hi- I need, I need to hide. And, um, and, and I owe this guy money. Now, he's not gonna, he's not gonna kill me just yet because he wants his money first. If I'm dead, he doesn't get any money. So, um, he cornered me once. I was at, I was at work, I can't get away from him. And he, he, we w- we went out by the river, right by the River Thames, and, uh, he just said, he said, "You got my money?" I said, "I, I've got no-" Uh, by this time I'd been arrested and all the drug operation had come down.
[00:21:15] So I didn't, I didn't even know I had a drug problem until I had no money and I couldn't afford anything. It's all come crashing down and w- I'm, I'm busted And, uh, but I had one last deal go- about to go down. Uh, a guy was, uh, harvesting a, a, a crop and he wanted me to sell it for him, and I always made good money with this guy. So I was driving to pick up this consignment, if you like, you know, a couple of… usual stuff, three or four black bags. And, uh, I had my friend follow me and, um, the plan was that when I came out, we'd drive around the corner, my friend'd rough me up a bit, like beat me up a bit, take the stuff, take my car, and, uh, and then I'd go back and knock on matey's house and say, uh, "Who's watching your house?
[00:22:07] 'Cause I've just been turned over." And that's exactly how it went down. Yeah, that's exactly how it went down. Uh, I knocked back on his, uh, door, you know, a bit bloody and a bit beat up and, you know, I come away from that about 18,000 pound up. Uh, I was able to give the guy whose son had died all his money back and a bit on top, and he decided to take the price off my head. Um, yeah, we kind of shook hands and, uh, but the writing was on the wall. All of a sudden I was pulled in for a disciplinary and they wanna sack me.
[00:22:47] Um, and the truth is, they had every ground. I wasn't turning up for work, I was out smoking crack. You know, I just weren't… I, I wasn't, uh, doing what I was paid to do. So I made one last appeal. By this time I'd just stepped into, like, what we call 12-step fellowship recovery. So I'd found, like, uh, Alcoholics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous and, you know, I found a load of people that were just like me that couldn't stop, that had near on self-destructed their own lives, and we're all sitting in a room laughing and joking and, you know, seemed a- seemed happy.
[00:23:25] And I thought, "Oh, well, I'll have some of that then." I hadn't been happy for a long time. You know, I'd lost me family, lost me business. Not even c- it's not a legitimate business, but you know, it paid well, you know, nearly half a million quid a year. Um- But when you got a crack habit of £1,000 a day, you're not making half a million a year. You've got a minus 365,000 that's going up in smoke. So, um, I look back on it and I'm just amazed by God's grace. Because I think God's grace is represented in time. Um, his mercy is rep- so his mercy, I believe, is represented in time.
[00:24:04] 'Cause what I was doing should have killed me several t- I was having some health problems. I'd, I'd collapsed a couple of times. I was having seizures. Um, you know, all sorts was going on. And, um, when I look back and I think of that, I'd like to tell you it ended there But it didn't. Um, by this time, as you know from Derek Prince teachings, when you look at the characteristics of demonic activity, uh, he goes through the list of, I think nine, uh, characteristics, well four and five, it, it, it, it encapsulates addiction and all your barriers are down.
[00:24:58] You're open game, you're fair game. So I'm riddled with demons and I don't even know it. You know, I was a perpetrator of domestic violence in the relationship with… You know, I'm not proud to admit it, but it is part of my truth and I'm here to be, to be vulnerable. Um, I was a violent man, you know, towards my ex and, and towards anyone that really got in my way. Um, and then I became a victim of domestic violence in a, in a, in that other relationship, you know. Um, and I've always said it, you know, I, I've been, I've been a victim of violence and psychological abuse, and if you were to ask me what one I'd… If I had to pick one, it'd be, it'd be violence because you can half defend yourself from a punch or a weapon or… But with the psychological stuff, y- your mind gets bent up and twisted and, you
[00:25:59] know, it's a slow demise if you like. And what I know now is even though people were doing that to me and I was doing it to them, it was all demonic activity. And don't get it twisted, I know there's some flesh in there as well, but some of the things I was doing that I can't explain can only be attributed to demonic activity. Bearing in mind I'm not a Christian, I'm not saved, so I'm, I'm, I'm going, "I work for Satan." Uh, that's my employer. It, it tells me that, you know, my employer is Satan, and I was a good employee as well, I'll tell you that much.
[00:26:33] You know, I turned up to work every day for him. Every day, you know, I'm, if he told me to march, I marched. If he told me to sit down, I'd sit down. If he told me to go and do this, do this, I, whatever popped in my head, I did. You know? I think, I do, and that was the, that was the process. Anyway, I enter into recovery and I'm about three months into recovery And I'm in a meeting in Loughton, funnily enough, not far from Grosvenor Hall, where, uh, Set The Captives do their, do their meetings. And that very hall, I went, I used to go to meetings there as well, in the upper room funnily enough.
[00:27:14] What year are we right now, then? We are now in 2009. Okay. So 2008 you left Ford's. Yeah. Right, and then 2009 is where you kind of enter into recovery. I entered into recovery the 1st of November 2008, and by February 2009, I go to a meeting on Friday evening in Loughton, uh, right opposite the Wimpy Bar, and this girl walks in, or this lady walks in, and I took one look at her and I just thought, "I'm gonna marry her." Now I'm, I'm three months off the crack, you know, I'm not really relationship material. You know, I, I had a tag on as well from the Criminal Justice Service.
[00:28:01] I was on curfew, you know, and if you were to put that advertisement in a dating column, you've gotta lie about it, right? You're not gonna get any calls. So, you know, I paint a, a different picture of myself. Um, what I, what I did over the years is I, I became a very good actor. I became very good at, at suppressing feelings, ignoring trauma, uh, brushing things. Now wipe your mouth, get on with it. That's the culture. And, um, anyway, I saw this, I saw this, uh, lady, uh, made a beeline for her, and then about four weeks later on my birthday, March 13th of 2009, a few people from the meeting said, "Oh, shall we… Look, let's go out for something to eat." And didn't have any money.
[00:28:54] I, I'm broke. Anyway, you know, they got this cake for me and all that, and this girl is sitting next to me, and I get to know her a little bit and, and, uh, that girl's now my wife and we've been married s- uh, been together 17 years, and, uh, our 10th wedding anniversary is coming up on the 5th of August of this year. So, um, we got together and we've become a bit of a poster boy and poster girl of 12-step recovery. Um, and what, and what recovery is really good at doing is putting people that are broken and busted on pedestals, and idolizing them, and looking up to them, when really we need to be looking up to our Lord.
[00:29:45] We need to be looking up to our Lord and Savior. And it wasn't… I didn't go into recovery and find Jesus. That's not what happened to me. In fact, if anybody spoke about Jesus in these meetings, I'd, I'd chase them out of there. And I don't mean… I mean that metaphorically. I'd chase them out with words and aggression, and, "You don't s- just don't say that name in here. That's not what these meetings are about." You know, um, blasphemy. Ugh. You know, um, but through ignorance, I didn't know Jesus. But I will say this, the people that I saw in those meetings doing well and looking the happiest were the people that had found Jesus.
[00:30:31] I couldn't ignore it But I could not associate with them, and I made a, a clear effort to not associate with them. And, and one man come up to me once and he said, "Do you know Jesus?" And I said, "No." He said, "Well, you know, God loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son." I'm like, "I've… Drop me out, mate. Drop me out." I've heard all this before in Sunday school, you know? And y- you know, God's knocking on your door, and that's what I'm talking about with mercy and, and grace, you know, giving, giving me that time.
[00:31:11] And I spent over 15 years in recovery, and just before I hit… 'Cause recovery's celebrated in, uh, length of sobriety time, which is funny to look back on now, but I can see why people would celebrate it where they're no longer destroying their lives, but everyone's nuts in there. Everyone's like… They're on antidepressants, they're all sleeping with each other, the sexual immorality. You know what I mean? You know, it's, you know, God is love. You know, God is love, so, you know, man and woman, uh, you know… No, man and man, or woman and woman and, you know, everybody's sleeping with each other.
[00:31:54] It's not always same-sex stuff, and it's just going on, and it's acceptable. You know, it's acceptable. Uh, me personally, although I always had a bit of a problem with it, but I know now that that was more to do with, I always knew that there was some sort of divine order. I just didn't know what it was, but something in my spirit knew that that wa- that sort of stuff wasn't right. But it tells us to, you know, love the sinner, hate the sin, and I'm not sure that's even a biblical term, but it's a good thing to operate in, um, when you're trying to challenge your conceptions.
[00:32:37] And most of my conceptions came from the pub, the playground, and the people I knocked around with, so the world. I didn't have any understanding of, you know, of Christianity and Jesus. Anyway, me and Cara get together, that's my wife, and You know, we decide, I decided to propose to her, uh, in 2014, and I think we got married, uh, 2016. And the wedding was just, it was… Even, look, it was a worldly affair, but it was modest. It wasn't flamboyant. We, we did it on a, on a, on a budget, and it was, it was just lovely. The, the people we wanted there were there.
[00:33:26] Uh, she looked amazing. A wedding is all about the bride. It's, you know, and we can look at that in Christianity as, as well. You know, we've gotta be the bride, and we've gotta be prepared, and do you know what I mean? We're not gonna turn up in dirty rags, are we, with our hair all scruffy? Well, I haven't got any hair, but, you know, uh, we're gonna make an effort to look right and be right on that day that Christ claims his bride. Well, well, a wedding is, is, uh, part of God's covenant for man and woman, and we actually renewed our vows in Jamaica, I think in 2022 or '23.
[00:34:07] Um- But 10 years in, uh, to our relationship, we relapsed. We'd never used drugs together. Now we're smoking crack together. And I remember the very first month we dropped 30 grand in 30 days, and I dropped three stone in 30 days. And people are starting to ask some questions. You know, I've always worked in the, uh, since I came into recovery, I started to work in the drug treatment field. So I worked in rehabs and detoxes and stuff, like helping people. Recovery said you gotta give back, and I thought I'd found a way of life that was, you know, gonna hold me in good, good stead for the rest of my life.
[00:35:01] I thought, oh, you know, I've probably seen my days out in recovery. And, uh, anyway, but, you know, we relapsed and, you know, after about five or six weeks we went back to recovery and we just couldn't stay clean. We just… I, I didn't know if we were gonna make it. I didn't know if I was… You know, you hear these stories in recovery that people have lost their husbands and wives and I just, you know, I just thought, well, I… You know, we sat down one day and started having a discussion about funeral music. That's how grim it got.
[00:35:36] Do you know what I mean? Almost in tears with each other. It's like, you know, I'll be honest with you, um, as I have been all the way through this, but I can't put into words the deep, the deep sense of shame that I felt when I saw the state of my wife, you know, skin and bones, and I can, I couldn't do, I couldn't do anything other than get her some more drugs. That's, that's the best I had. It's the best I had in that moment. And I knew there was another way. I knew we could at least get recovery again that I wanted to use as well.
[00:36:26] And the, the real truth of it is part of me didn't care, you know? And I know that's not the better part of me. You know what I mean? I didn't actually think that would make me emotional, that bit, but it actually did. Um Because I've told that story hundreds of times doing this sort of thing in recovery. You know, meetings are about a test that, you know, someone will give a main sh- I've done loads, hundreds of them. I've done hundreds of them. And I've, I've, I've glorified that bit in the past and, and said, you know, I sensed a deep shame.
[00:37:01] But knowing what the Lord expects from a husband, it has a deeper sense of shame now. And, uh, yeah, I've gotta be honest, there may be a wound or two that needs healing there. So what we weren't able to do… So w- we were getting periods of clean time where we'd get a four-month, a five-month, a six-month. But it, lo and behold, every summer, we, we pretty much missed every summer locked behind a bedroom door, steaming hot, sweating, smoking crack, drinking beer, you know. Um, and then obviously there's the lust, you know, the… All barriers are down. You know, you're pushing the boundaries in every area.
[00:37:47] And we don't need to go into those sorts of detail because, you know, we, I walk with the Lord, and I don't wanna glorify that sort of stuff, but it just opened more demonic doors, you know, so a lot of deliverance was needed. Can I ask what was the trigger, do you think, for the relapse? Oh, yeah, quite an important part of the story, and I've missed that actually. So, uh, just after we got married, we were given an opportunity to move to Thailand and open up a drug rehabilitation center. And, uh, that really stroked my ego 'cause I was kinda headhunted and, um, you know, I was gonna be a clinical director without a single clinical qualification But out in Thailand, you can be.
[00:38:31] Um, and so we took that opportunity. We left everything behind, the kids, everything, and we weren't really seeing the kids regularly. A couple of them we were, particularly my wife's daughter, Tashara. You know, we had a good relationship with her. It was quite close. Although she wasn't living with us, we'd see her regular, and my son as well, uh, Lewis. But, um, we decided to take… You know, we s- we… What we said was, "Look, let's go out there. Let's make a few quid. Let's do it for a couple of years, come back, and maybe we can buy a place here and get back into the work we were doing here." It didn't last out there.
[00:39:08] I got out there, and within two weeks I, I just knew that I've made the biggest mistake of my life. And, um, I'd have to say this is the handiwork of the enemy, but out there I've, I've got myself a little toothache, and, uh, I went down to the pharmacy to just get some ibuprofen, come back with tramadol. And I come back with the tramadol and I thought, "Well, if they sell tramadol, what else do they sell?" So I went out to… In Thailand, in Phuket, every other place is a pharmacy. You just see the like the first aid signs everywhere.
[00:39:46] So I'm going in all these pharmacies, and I've come back with a big bag of Valium and some Xanax bars, and we got absolutely nutted on them. And we didn't turn up to work the next day, and the villa that the guy had rented for us, he, he had a key to it, and he come in, I was covered in blood. I'd fallen over and cracked my knee open and, you know, Carl was sprawled out on the sofa just like nutted like that. And he just, he'd invested a lot of money bringing us out there, and he just put his head in his hands like that, and he started to sob on the end of our sofa.
[00:40:15] And I came in and I went… I can't use the language that I used, but I, I just said, "You know, what are you doing here?" And he's, uh, uh, and he, um, he just said, "I can't believe." I said, "Look, the best thing you can do is go 'cause we're not finished." Um, anyway, we agreed to go back to the rehab with him and stay there for a couple of days and straighten ourselves out. But that was the beginning of the end, you know. I, I knew he was gonna, you know, v- uh, get rid of us at some point.
[00:40:49] So after, I think we stayed there five months in total, and it was a bit of an escape plan. We got a middle of the night flight from Phuket to China, and then China connecting back to Heathrow, and we came back. And, uh, I think I lasted six weeks before life was that unbearable that I just… It was depression, it was anxiety. Um, you know, I always said that anxiety was for weak people until I got it. And I'd never experienced my body shaking from the inside out in complete fear, and I couldn't get out the door. I, I couldn't leave the, the flat.
[00:41:31] And we'd gone from a lovely house that was, it's housing association, not that that matters, it's not about status, but we had a lovely house, and we gave that up, and all of a sudden we come back to a one-room place. It was, it was nice, but I thought, "What have I done?" And again, that guilt and that shame and that remorse. And I can remember, I think it was Christmas Eve, I went down the shop to get a, a newspaper and some milk. I come back with a liter of Jack Daniels, and it was game over. Uh, Christmas Day we found ourselves around my mother-in-law's scoring crack.
[00:42:07] And, uh, she begged us not to do it, and we're, you know, I'm like, "Look, this is happening. It's either happening through you or I'm gonna go and find it on the street. So make the call." Do you know what I mean? "I, I want what I want now, and you're in the way." You know, so a lot of bridges were burnt, so to speak. Um- So that was the, that was the turning point. That's what really took place. And, but our using turned particularly dark, and we were starting to see black shadows and entities, and I was suffering from drug-induced psychosis.
[00:42:48] So, you know, I'd be at the spire and I'd normally have a weapon in my hand because I thought the door was gonna come off and, you know, it was horrific. Um, and I looked, I remember once looking out the spire where the place that we lived, and we lived in a building that had security cameras and a concierge. And, um, but I looked out in the foyer and I saw killer clowns. I'm, I'm hallucinating, you know what I mean? And then I saw police coming at the door. Um, I called the police to our property four times in one night saying that there was break-ins.
[00:43:26] They were viewing all the CCTV. They said, "Mate, no one's coming here." And I remember, I remember the p- I don't know why I laugh at this, probably 'cause I'm not healed in, in that area, but some things do just make me chuckle still. And the policeman said to, said to me and Cara, "Have you taken any drugs tonight?" When there was two crack pipes under the sink in the bathroom, and we're like, "No, we just, we're in recovery. We just have a drink." Um, and he bought that and off he went. Um, yeah, it's not funny really. Um, I probably laugh out of, out of shame more than anything and embarrassment, but- So would you, had you been up for days on the drugs and then you was starting to have psychosis?
[00:44:09] Is that what you was- Yeah. So we'd, we'd be up like four or five days on the spin, not a drop of sleep between us and, you know, now we're highly suspicious of each other's behavior. Um- Yeah, things got, you know, I don't wanna go into the gory details of that because, um, I think it would, uh, you know, make our, our marriage a little vulnerable. Um, and I do wanna protect that, particularly for my wife. Um, but it got to a point… I will share one part of it because I've shared it before, and I know she'll be fine with it.
[00:44:48] Um, but there was one evening where we was having a disagreement, and there was a knife on the table, and I remember I got a little bit shirty, but not physical. I've, I've just, I was like, "What did you say?" And before I knew it, you know, she'd gone for the knife, and I felt this stab in my arm, but the knife wasn't in her hand. It mu- it must have been supernaturally moved. There's no way she would've missed it. And I was then dealing with demonic power. Uh, I remember she shoved me, and I flew across the room and hit the door, and I thought, "What is going on here?" Now, by this time we had been saved, okay?
[00:45:34] Um, but I'm just relating it to the using because now we're seeing demons. We're seeing demons. So we got saved, I think it was 2023 or four. I honestly can't remember. So we had a baptism set with our first online ministry, and that got canceled because the leader of that was an absolute narcissist. Um, and we got thrown out the ministry, so the baptisms were canceled. Then we found our, our first regular church, a Pentecostal church in Grays called Potter's House. It's a global church. It's got a lot of bad press, but probably that pastor, I've gotta be honest, if I look back, he was probably the best of the bunch, if I'm honest.
[00:46:29] But I'm so riddled with demons that I'm, I'm a divider. I look for problems. I cause problems. And, um, we had a baptism set up there. Now, I'm always cautious about putting dates on anything 'cause the enemy loves a set date to destroy. So anyway, we set up the baptism with the church, and the night before we used. Again, I didn't make it, and I can remember the Sunday morning, you know, the pastor was… He must have miss called me about 10 times, and I just couldn't look at… I'd say I turned the phone over and just walked away. Me, I just, I knew.
[00:47:12] I just, I thought, "Oh no," you know, "We've blown it." Anyway, we went back to that ch- I ended up calling him a couple of days later and give my apologies, and he went, "Look, no harm done. Someone else got baptized that morning, so maybe it was meant for them." Now, he wasn't stable at this point. We were having periodic using, and it was really chaotic and, you know, we were getting attacked left, right, and center by the enemy and the demons, and our lives were on the line. I'd say our lives were on the line. And this is where it's gonna turn really nice.
[00:47:48] Um, so I wanna come out the flesh in a minute. But we got, we got, we made our, our third baptism is when we got baptized, and then we went home that night and used again. Like, how does that work? Um, I just couldn't work it out. I, I couldn't… Well, I was so puzzled. You know, we, we, we dragged ourself back to church and recommitted our life to Christ, and, uh, one thing I love about church is It don't turn your way. You know what I mean? You might get secretly judged by people, you know, that goes on everywhere.
[00:48:31] I don't care what anyone says, it goes on. Um, I know 'cause I've done it. I know, see. Um, and we started to build some momentum and I remember the pastor saying to me, "Just keep your eyes on Jesus. You know, you don't need all this recovery stuff." And I was like, "But this recovery stuff is ingrained in me. It's all I know." And lo and behold, uh, we had a couple more relapses. Built a business in this time as well, looking after young people, acquiring a couple of houses. We had a, a main investor and got a good living.
[00:49:13] We- we're doing okay, and the Lord blessed us in that. And then it, then it turns, and it turns for the good. So we had one more use up, one more relapse, and it, it was the night of the knife incident. And shortly after that knife incident, we still finished what we had. We still finished the drugs that we had, but it was really tricky to keep each other in check. And when those drugs were finished- Now people might say, "Well, that was the drugs." Nah. This gray mist came into the living room and started to turn everything light, and then Jesus appeared at our door.
[00:50:07] We had a door, um, that, from the living room to the hallway, and it was half glass panel, and he was just standing there. And I'm s- I'm laying on the settee with Kai, you know, nursing me wounds a bit, and I've looked round and I'm just staring like this. And, um, and I thought, "I wonder if she can see it." So I nudged her, I went, "Babe, do you see that?" And she just, she, she just grabbed me round the neck, like hugging me like this, almost choking me. She went, "It's Jesus, it's Jesus." And, um, it was him.
[00:50:48] He, he came for us, you know what I mean? He came for us, and he showed himself in our flat, and he walked away from the door into our bedroom, and it was one long… You know, it didn't have any twists or turns, it's just a straight, uh, corridor into the, in this two-bedroom flat. It wasn't huge, but it was big enough for us, and he's gone into our bedroom, and he's just turned round at the foot of the bed and just kinda gone like this, and all of these angelic lights just fell out of the ceiling, and they were landing all over our bed, all over the headboard.
[00:51:27] And I've ac- I'm not tripping, I've checked myself. Like, I'm seeing what I'm seeing. She's seeing it too. And, uh I, I can't speak at this point. And she's, she's grabbing me, she's hugging me. And I remember I just said to her, "I need to go in there." So I went in there, and as I entered the room, he, he faded. But I just fell at… We both, we went in there, we fell at the bed and just said, "Lord," and we just started to pray. And, uh, yeah, he came, he, he showed himself to us. Um, you know, and I remember telling, uh, Kevin about it actually, and he, he, he shed a tear.
[00:52:16] He said he's, he's not seen Jesus himself. Um, that was actually the second time I'd seen him, funnily enough. Um, seen him a total of four times now. Um And then I remember we got an opportunity. We were looking for a property for my daughter just to rent. Um, and as we were looking, the place that we're living in right now, the very place I'm sitting in right now came up, and I, I was at work, and Cara was at work. We always go to work together. And, uh, I ran in and I said, "Babe, look, this, this place has come up."
[00:53:00] Now we'd, we've come to this place every year for 16 years, sometimes two or three times a year, and we always drive past this place, and I always said to Cara, "I, I, I wonder what it's like in here. It looks amazing." So we're at work on the Wednesday. We're there till Friday. I phone the estate agents and she said, "Can you get here Friday for a viewing?" I said, "What time?" Uh, and she said, "The latest I can do is 4:00." I said, "We'll be there." So we drove up from work, you know, literally no sleep. We don't sleep at work really.
[00:53:34] Um, drove up dog tired. Uh, but we decided to fast, um, 24 hours before, and on the journey up here. You know, big decisions, fast, pray, fast, pray. So we're stopping and we're praying and we're seeking the Lord. And we got into this property and met the estate agent, and it was her last day as an estate agent before she was going off to be a police officer, and we were the 11th couple that she'd seen for this property. Now, on paper, Aaron, our financial status at that point was shocking. Um, my credit score was 99, and I remember talking to an accountant and he said he'd never seen a score that low, and I didn't know if it was a badge of honor or something to be proud of, but I felt ashamed.
[00:54:26] The point being is that on paper, we were the worst candidates for this property. We were the worst candidates. And just before we left, she said… She, she handled all of the properties for our now landlord, and she said, "I'm gonna make sure you get this place." And we had to go through all credit referencing, and I just thought, "There's no way they're gonna see." Like, we're not even paid properly from our boss. We're paid in dividends, do you know what I mean, to reduce our tax, and it wasn't quite official, so it looked a bit dodgy And we flew through the referencing, and we just got the place.
[00:55:07] And we moved up here on the f- f- well, we took the keys. We come on holiday with my daughter up here, and we picked up the keys on that holiday, and we, we stepped inside this place. We went over to British Heart Foundation, bought a load of furniture, said, "Keep that for us. We'll be back up in a couple of weeks to move." And I started to become really concerned for my daughter, and I thought, you know, the flat we was in, living in, could she somehow get that? And I thought, "Do you know what? I'm not gonna push anything.
[00:55:40] I'm just gonna pray about it." I prayed about it, and all of a sudden my son rang me up and he said, "Hey, your flat, do you reckon your landlord would sell it to me?" I said, "I reckon he would, yeah." And lo and behold, he's now the owner of that flat, and my daughter now lives there, and we moved up here. Now, we didn't really know what we were moving here for. We'd just met Kevin. I'd just started to, uh, get into the deliverance and the healing. But I wanna backtrack, so this is in July of last year. So I'll just say that Kevin is my brother-in-law, and that is the third episode we did on Built For Good.
[00:56:18] So anyone who wants to check out the episode with Kevin, you can go to the third episode and, and, and have a listen. Go, go ahead, Mile. Yeah, fantastic. So if I rewind to April of last year, um, that's when we first went to Set The Captives Free. Now, I had known Kevin briefly on a phone call, a series of phone calls, where he took me through some deliverance about three or four years prior to this. And I lost all contact. I lost his number. I lost all contact, and I, I couldn't work out who he was, where he was.
[00:56:58] So we found another deliverance place in London, and we went there, and we got some deliverance, but it wasn't the deliverance that I've come to know. This guy was physically almost violent with us. He did karate chop my neck, put me down on the floor, started whacking me in the stomach, and then he put his hands around my wife's neck, and I thought, "I'm not that spiritual yet, mate. I'm gonna, I'm gonna hurt you if I get up." And, um But we were desperate. We just didn't know anything else. Then Cara found them, set the catses. She found them on, uh, think it was YouTube or Facebook.
[00:57:37] Facebook. And I, I, and then I found it, then I found them on Insta. I found them everywhere. So I messaged Kevin, and it took him two weeks, not a criticism, but it took him two weeks to check his social media, and I wrote him this long message telling him how desperate we were, and I thought, "I'd just about given up." I thought, "We're so bound." By this time, I've been introduced to Come Out in Jesus' Name. I heard the name Derek Prince on there, Alex Beggari. I started… And I started to look into this deliverance stuff, and the best thing about learning about the deliverance was identifying that I needed it, and I needed it desperately for myself and for my wife.
[00:58:20] So that was the first thing I realized. So I went to, eventually I got this message, and we was at work again, and the message come through, "So sorry, just checked the, the help is here," in typical Kevin style. And, um, I just, I just cried. I just cried 'cause I, I knew I was gonna be all right. I, I knew I was gonna be all right. And, um- We went along to the next se- we'd just missed one. We had to wait a month. So we just kept praying, pressing, and going to our regular church, staying in touch with him.
[00:58:58] Give us the Curse Breaker manual, did it immediately. You know, people get this Curse Breaker manual and they stick it under the bed or, "Yeah, I done it, y-," just done it. Done it, one sitting, boom, done. You know, we're not messing about here. You know, our lives are on the line. Um, I went to Set the Captives, and at the end of the service, I don't even remember what the service was about. I weren't really listening, if I'm honest with you. I was, I went there with a high expectation of being delivered, and at the end, he, you know, he just opened it up to the whole crowd.
[00:59:26] He says, "Anyone got a need here?" And I said, "Yeah, listen, I've got the rage. I've got the rage and my temper's out of control," you know? Um, and he, I just got delivered. My whole body started to shake. I started convulsing and that, I could see everyone's hands were out like that around me, and everyone was kind of pulling this demon out and, and it just left. I just started to sob, man. My eyes, uh, w- you know, tears were coming down and I knew I'd been delivered from, from that. Uh, but I knew there was more, but I'd been delivered from that.
[01:00:00] And then obviously other people needed to be seen as well, but a total of three people come up to me, 'cause I was wearing hearing aids at the time, and they said, "Can I pray for your ears?" And I just kind of moved away from them. I thought, "These people are weird, man. What's going on?" I ain't experienced nothing like this. I've been to churches loads and no one's asked to pray for my ears, so what's this about? I didn't know anything about healing really. You know, I'd, I'd, I understood what Jesus did, but I didn't understand that it could be replicated through the Holy Spirit and by spirit-filled believers.
[01:00:35] I didn't, I, I didn't know any of this. Whole new, a whole new, um, avenue of information, miracles, signs, and wonders. What was it like when you was going through the deliverance prayer at the meeting? What was the sensation like, if you can remember? Yeah, when I was going through the deliverance, um, I just felt something take over my body and my left arm started to really shake, and my whole body started to shake actually, and I, 'cause I remember loads of people have told me about it since. Uh, they, they said it was a really powerful deliverance and, and all of a sudden, it, I just remember Kevin said, "Come out in Jesus' name," and you know, he just went, "Fire, fire, fire," and, and it just, it just left me.
[01:01:29] It d- it didn't really… It seemed to come out my eyes, and my understanding is if there's an exit, it can leave. What did it feel like when it left? What was the contrast like? Oh, okay. Um- undeniable peace. In that moment, there was an undeniable peace. I knew something had left me, and I knew whatever had left me was dark, because I now felt very light, and I could see light. But that wasn't the end, see, because three other people asked to pray for me, and I'm just making my excuses to go. See, here's the thing. He said, "Does anybody need healing?" And I didn't even think of my ears, 'cause I'd had them for 10 years, these hearing aids.
[01:02:17] And it's not just the fact that I needed hearing aids. I've had, I've had surgical procedures on my ears that lasted five hours each. I've had four operations in total. I've got no natural bones left in my ears. It's all plastic surgery. So I shouldn't be able to hear again. That's, th- that's, this is the miracle of it, see? So I'm just about to try and get out the door, and Kevin catches me again and he says, he says, "Can I pray for your ears?" I'm like, "Yeah. Yeah, you can." So I took the hearing aids out, and, um, he started to pray for a creative miracle, speaking to the bones and the eardrum and the canal and the… And I'm like, "Blimey, okay." And he said the prayer, and when I left there, my ears, particularly this one, started, because this is, this is the really bad one, started to whistle.
[01:03:15] It was almost like I could hear the sound of the waves, but I'm nowhere near the sea. And That lasted a good, well, a, a good couple of days, and then Kevin's on the phone. He said, "Hey, you know, I just wanted to check in how your ears." I said, "Well, I've got a bit of a ringing in them, but it's not tinnitus, and it's almost like the waves are cra-" And he, and he, he prayed with me again. He said, "Lord, you know, we, uh, we know that you don't do partial healings. You know, we, we ask for a full miracle here."
[01:03:45] But the thing that was blocking the full healing was I kept the hearing aids. I kept them, and it must have been a bit of doubt or unbelief in me. I thought, "Well, what if I need them?" So I just bit the bullet, and I took them down to the bins downstairs, and I just threw them in the bin, and within 24 hours I could hear. You know, and, and I mean, my TV was on the volume of 90 out of 100. Subtitles. I was living off subtitles, do you know what I mean? And I don't have to live like that no more, and that was a, a miracle, you know, and a, and a testimony in itself.
[01:04:29] But then, you know, I… And I don't wanna play that down. It's a, it's a huge thing. I wasn't expecting it. I went there to be delivered, and I got healed and delivered, you know? So… And I think, you know, that, that's happened and really cemented a new level of faith in me. But the minute I watched that video come out in Jesus' name, I knew I was gonna do deliverance. I knew it. I knew I was called to it. I knew it. It excited me. Um, there's not a day gone by since that I've not been watching something or learning something about it, you know.
[01:05:05] And I've slowed down a little bit because I've realized that as much as it is good to learn about that stuff and that side of ministry, I need to know the person of Jesus. I need to know the man and the God Jesus. I need to know So I've started to look at, you know, much more in depth at the Bible and study and other books relating to the Holy Spirit, you know, a whole heap of Derek Prince stuff and other authors that I've come to, uh, enjoy, you know, learning from. And we moved to Wales, and it was a bit of a shock obviously, 'cause we started to serve and set the captives and, you know, but we were still going down every couple of weeks to serve there, you know, 500 mile round trip, you know, give back.
[01:05:53] You know, freely you receive, freely you should give. And, um, you know, we were going down and it was a long slog. It was 10, 12 hours on the road and a two-hour service in between and doing deliverance at the end and being a part of that ministry. You know, it was a, but it was a pleasure to do it, you know? And, um, slowly but surely when we arrived in Wales, we started to connect with a couple of churches here, and we just see people band up everywhere, and we started to, you know, meet people outside of the church and, you know, say, you know, "Would you like to come and have a coffee with us?" You know, "Come to the house."
[01:06:26] And because of where God's positioned us Everybody knows where this house is. Ev- you've only gotta say where it, everybody knows round here where it is. They know that we live here. So word's got about, the Lord's really done a number up here and, and, uh, we started to see people for deliverance and healing, and people were really getting set free. And I'll share one story really quickly. One of the ladies that we met in church, she went out for coffee with Cara, and, and, and, um, when Cara asked for a lift back, they pulled up outside and the lady said, "On… What, you're living there?" And she said, "Yeah.
[01:07:06] Do you wanna come in?" And she burst into tears, and she said she'd had a dream about s- so we've got… On the, on the end of this property there's a turret, and it's got like a Victorian seating area. Not for… It's not ours, we just rent it, but it's quite a unique thing. But she'd had a dream that she was standing in that turret looking out at the sea 20 years ago, and she got delivered in that turret. She got delivered in there, and now she's off telling everybody her testimony. Now the, you know, the phone's going, people are coming, and so we decided to run some house groups, and we started to teach deliverance, and we started to teach spiritual warfare and, and it was only about three months ago.
[01:07:51] I dunno what it is about God speaking to me when I'm in the bathroom, whether it's in the shower or, you know, going to toilet or wherever it is, but I hear God's voice in a certain… You know, I go in the room, close the door, and I hear God's voice. And all of a sudden I'm hearing, "1 Timothy, 1 Timothy, 1 Timothy." And I'm like, "What about 1 Timothy? I've, I've, I've read it, I've studied it." It's how, it's how I pick their church, you know, study once, see the structure. And then I heard, "Study 1 Timothy aggressively with…" So the people that we… By this time we'd set up, uh, Zoom Bible studies and prayer groups.
[01:08:32] We pray with our people twice a day, uh, 11:00 AM and 9:00 PM every day apart from weekends. So we walk with the people that we have connected with. We don't just… You know, it's not deliverance, off you go. 'Cause you've gotta be walking right to keep your deliverance. You've gotta know how to fight the enemy. You've gotta know this stuff. So, you know, we won't even do deliverance unless we know someone's walking right, unless someone just manifests. Yeah, we won't have blood on our hands. You know, we, we see it as a responsibility. But, um, I heard, "Study 1 Timothy with the group aggressively." So we studied 1 Timothy every day, including weekends, until we'd finished it.
[01:09:10] But as we got into chapter five God said, "Start your Sunday services." I'm like, "Pff, okay." And then 1019, l- you know, 1019 Ministry was born. And it's taken from Luke 10:19 which says, "Behold, I've given you the power to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy that no harm shall come to you." You know, and we did the usual stuff. We got the banners made, and we got a load of chairs, and you know, we can fit comfortably 35 people in one end of our living room. It- the place is that big. And, uh, we know now why the Lord gave us this place.
[01:09:53] But things have turned a little bit of a corner. Um, and I think I'm gonna draw it to a close in a second, but I just wanna share this last part with you. Um, we've done a ton of deliverance. It w- not us, the Holy Spirit has enabled us and used us effectively to set people free and heal some people, and you know, it's been, it, it's been amazing. And teach some people as well, and study together, and pray together, and walk together. Now me and Cara are not… We haven't always been people, uh, you know, persons if you like, and all of a sudden we've got loads of people in our house, and you know, God told us unequivocally, "This is not your house.
[01:10:38] It's mine." And I, "Okay." Uh, and you're gonna open it up. Now when we came here, we made a fresh covenant of marriage with our faith to God and to fellowship, and we didn't have any fellowship at the time. And, and we've walked in that, and God has seen each of those things, uh, blossom and evolve through him. And it was about two months ago, we were just, we were just sitting down watching some TV, and there's a knock at the door, or the doorbell went. And we got confused, 'cause, you know, our neighbor's doorbell activates ours. So we thought, "Oh, it's nothing." Anyway, Carla's gone to answer the door, and this lady's there.
[01:11:25] And she said, "I'm so sorry to just knock on your door and disturb you, but my husband's dying of cancer, and we just thought maybe we could get some prayer." And, and then she said, "Not now, but could we, could we come here?" So we set a date for them to come here. And we, uh … the Lord, uh, delivered him from the spirit of death, and, um, but he'd not been able to eat for six weeks. He'd lost, he's lost more than half his body weight, you know. Um, and he ended up in hospital, and we took him to hospital.
[01:12:07] The lady has actually got some real issues. Um, unfortunately she, she believes that she is being monitored by MI6, and has done for the last 24 years. And she has to go through a certain routine or process, and she calls it a ritual. And I said, "You need to be really careful of the words you're speaking." To be able to sleep, so she puts like granite boards down, water bottles in front of electric plugs, as she thinks she's being monitored through electric waves and currents. And this man is dying of cancer and having to live in horrendous conditions. So we've had to start to minister to them about biblical marriage and what that looks like.
[01:12:53] Unfortunately, we've not been able to reach her with much. But this gentleman, even though he's been in and out of hospital, and he still has cancer, um Even though we've prayed for his healing, and I'm not speaking that over him, I believe he's, he's gonna be healed and is healed. But turns out he's a Bible scholar. He's wrote a number of books, and, um, he's wrote a particular book called The Replaced Apostle, and it's all about how the early New Testament church has been derailed by the devil, and what we now see is lead pastors, rows of chairs, preaching on topics, uh, you know, certain denominations.
[01:13:47] And he showed me… Uh, he asked me out for a coffee, and I went out, and we had a chat. Now bearing in mind, every church I've ever been in is set up exactly the same way. There's a couple of songs, there's a couple of rows of seats, and you know, you know, a few rows of seats, and, you know, we'll sing some songs, we'll have a message, might be an offering. Standard stuff, right? It's what we're used to. But he, he took me to 1 Corinthians, I think, 13, about orderly worship. And it says, um, "One will bring a hymn, one will speak a word of prophecy, one may speak in tongues." And he suggested rather than have rows of chairs, why don't we put them in like a horseshoe shape, and have communion out of one cup rather than these little thimble things and, and I really f- I fought it.
[01:14:42] I thought, "What are you doing telling me what to do?" And he's, but he said, "It says in that scripture, 'I will build my church.'" And it played on my, it, it, it, it played on my heart and my mind really heavily. And it wasn't until a, a few Sundays ago that I was about to set up the room in the n- usual way, and I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to just do what he'd suggested. And I put the chairs in a semi-circle. Still had the speaker and the telly for the worship music and that sort of thing.
[01:15:22] We had a couple of songs, and then we just invited in the Holy Spirit and just said, "Holy Spirit, come have your way with us." You know, "Do your thing. Guide our steps." And lo and behold, someone spoke a word of prophecy, someone spoke in tongues. We, you know, there's a, a, an interpret-- well, we, we didn't get to interpret because something actually happened. Someone started to manifest, and, uh, they got delivered. Um, and we had a message at the end. But there's a period at the beginning of the service where we just invite the Holy Spirit in, and we don't, we don't say anything.
[01:16:03] There's no lead. I'm not standing up at a pulpit with a stand. That's all gone, and we're all just sitting in a circle and letting the Holy Spirit build his church and operate how he wants to operate. And I'm still finding the transition quite challenging but incredibly rewarding. Um, I believe that that is what a New Testament church looks like. Um, controversially, um… and it, and it is, it is contra-- it is controversial to say this, but what we see in regular churches throughout all denominations is this model where the spotlight is on a leader or leaders, um, and I thought that was normal.
[01:17:05] And yes, there has to be leadership within a church, so I choose my words very carefully. I'm technically a, an overseer of this house church that we've got now. Um, and bless him, this, this gentleman has just… I believe God sent him. He sent him to, to guide us, that primarily we were a deliverance ministry. There's no such thing as a deliverance ministry. It was just part of what Jesus did in his ministry. So we still do healing, we still do deliverance, but it's part of the New Testament church, not the Testa- New Testament church. So just as we got started, I think we had three services where it was set up a certain way, and then I became open to correction and change, and I got convicted of it, and we ran with it.
[01:18:02] And I can't see it being done any other way now. And we've since moved to weekly services. Um, we still study together twice a week and pray together twice a day, you know. And we're building a, a fellowship and a community. And then it's challenging as well, 'cause we're getting attacked by witchcraft and all sorts of Yeah, not everyone that comes here comes with good intentions, so we're having to … But you know, even that stuff, people can get carried away, you know, go on witch hunts and all that, and it's like, hold on. If you're walking holy and you're covered in the blood of Jesus, these things just bounce off you.
[01:18:38] You, you haven't even gotta worry about Be aware, be alert, be sober-minded. The enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Yeah, but we're not on his menu. We're, you know, we're not, we're not to be taken in that way. Um, so we stand on that, you know. Um, and I say that since we've gone into ministry, even as a home church, there's less restrictions, you know. It's not, not any of this Anglican stuff where you've gotta, you know, have a three year degree and have some twisted theology. Um, God chooses the most unlikely of candidates, and I think I could say hand on heart that having shared what I've shared, I'm probably one of the most unlikely that could be picked, um, to do what he's done with me, and for me, and through me.
[01:19:35] He's healed my marriage. Um, we have a biblical marriage. You know, we … My wife covers me in prayer as much as I cover her. She's submissive as much as I'm submissive. We always look as a way to move forward rather than get stuck in the past. Our marriage was being torn apart. Even up here it was being torn apart. It wasn't until we were both delivered from Asmodeus and Osmodius, spirit spouses, that the arguing stopped, and we got delivered from that. Um, um, things have become a lot easier, but cl- very close to the Sunday service the enemy comes, he tries to attack, he tries to get a little squabble in, and that sort of stuff.
[01:20:23] But we've just been blessed with a beautiful place to live. Um, God has made this place known as somewhere where people can come for help. Um, I remember my first pastor said that church is like a hospital. It's full of sick people, full of patients. And, um I'm s- I'm starting to suffer some attacks of low self-esteem, unworthiness, a heavy burden, because this gentleman who I've, who I've grown to love is, is dying of cancer. You know, there's no other way to describe it. And he, you know, bless him, he wants to do some teaching and stuff, but his home is in disarray.
[01:21:11] And if you look at the qualifications in 1 Timothy, if you haven't got your house in order, how can you look after God's church? So I'm having to… I believe he's been sent to help me, but I also believe he's been sent so I can help him and protect him from there. Um, so I'm gonna look at something was put on my heart. Why does he wanna teach? What's going on for him? Does he know something we don't about his amount of time left? Is he looking to plant his legacy, and how can I help him to do that? And I'm thinking of a platform just like this to get everything that God's blessed him with out of his head and onto a platform in a series of recordings that we can put on a website and, you know, and we can honor what God has done for him and through him in another way, rather than exploiting him to Satan as a teacher, because they're judged much more harshly.
[01:22:11] Um, I think I'll probably close this off by just giving all the praise to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and God the Father, and the Holy Spirit, understanding what that true trinity is and how it's played out in our lives, what he's done for us, you know, the sacrificial or the substitutionary sacrifice. You know, that cross was meant for us, and I think some of the things that I've shared without going into really gory detail, um, I belong on a tree, and I shoul- I should have hung from a tree a long time ago. Um, but because of his mercy and his time and his agape love for us, he's not only saved me, but he's saved my wife.
[01:23:05] And here's the thing, you know, there's an expectation of a biblical marriage of submission to each other. You know, it's a wonderful thing when it works as well. But my wife isn't beneath me Woman was taken from man's rib as an equal, as a helper, not as, you know, she wasn't taken from the feet to be trodden on or taken from the head to be looked down upon. She was taken from the rib, so she's an equal. And whilst a lot of men can get stuck on the, "Wives, submit to your husbands," I urge you to read on, because the emphasis on, "Husbands, love your wives," is far greater, and the responsibility is far heavier.
[01:23:57] It's far, far heavier. I almost feel a little guilty that I've not mentioned his name, the name of Jesus, our, our King as, as, probably as often as I should of. But I'll wrap this up by simply saying that all glory to him for what he's doing up here. The reason that I've become obedient to a New Testament church is because if I ignore that older gentleman, who's technically an elder in age, and I get up there on Judgment Day and God says to me, "I sent you that man. Why didn't you listen?" I believe what we're doing here, not only is it obedient, but I believe God's gonna bless it.
[01:24:48] I don't know how he's gonna bless it. Um, and I'm not talking about in numbers. We're not interested in numbers. You know, to keep this kind of as it is and how God wants to evolve it, to have this ministry operating in all nine gifts of the spirit. It doesn't need to be a huge mega church for that. I think they can get a bit lost. We're at the beginning. I'm a new convert. I'm not even worthy. I don't even know if I should be in this position, but God has picked me for a reason that I cannot fathom. I'm a rough around the edges kind of guy, and, uh, I'm asking God to use that sandpaper to refine me and polish off those edges.
[01:25:39] And I said to him, "Lord, I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for what you're asking." He … and, and I remember hearing, "I know that, but I'm gonna change you as we go." And that's what I'm experiencing. Um, so all praises to him, um, that I can even sit here in this wonderful place with this wonderful view, um, with a business that continues to pay our bills, that he's sustained through all of the trials and errors, through all of the skullduggery, and all of the sin and shame. Um, he's forgiven it all. You know, he's, he's forgiven it all, and he's given us a life that I couldn't possibly imagine, and I really will finish on this.
[01:26:28] If I could have seen the entire journey of what was gonna unfold in Wales before I came, I wouldn't have come But God's very good at giving you things bit by bit. You know, just revealing stuff to you at certain times for a new season, for a new teaching, for a new learning, for a new bit of growth and development. And I'd like to say that even though I've only been saved a few years, I believe that God's doing some sort of accelerated work in me and my wife. And she's come along, I don't even know who she is anymore, in a good way.
[01:27:09] I don't recognize her anymore in a good way. You know? Um, I can't thank him enough. Do you know what I mean? Come with thanksgiving, bow before his throne, now you've got his ear. And that's how I always open in prayer. I come with thanksgiving, I bow before his pro- throne, praise, glory, honor, and narrowly are my prayer requests. And the majority of my prayers these days are for others. I don't even waste time praying for myself really, because I, there's nothing else I need. So yeah, that's my story. Brother Martin, thank you so much for sharing. It's absolutely incredible to see and hear the works God has done and is doing in your life.
[01:27:53] What I would love you to do is pray us out for anybody who might be going through similar things that you've experienced in the past. People that might be going through addiction, fear, anxiety, anything that you've mentioned today. L- you know, close us out in a prayer, if you can. Sure. Be a absolute honor. Father God, Abba Father, Daddy God, I come to you in the mighty name of your Son, Jesus, and by the power of your Holy Spirit just to give thanks And I bow before your throne, Father God, to give you praise, to give you glory, to give you honor, to magnify your name, Father God And for anybody that's been touched by this testimony, I just pray that you will keep your eyes on Him.
[01:28:48] Just keep your eyes on Him. When Peter took his eyes off Jesus on the water, he sank I pray, Father God, for anybody that's struggling, that's in need of deliverance, that even at the sound of this prayer, that it can be bound to come out in Jesus' name. Any oppression, any heaviness, any pride, any lust, any addiction, any mental illness, whatever anyone's going through, if there's a healing need, Father God, send your Holy Spirit right now, even across this platform, Father God, and touch them I lift up my wife, Father God. I lift her up higher to you for her tireless work that she does behind the scenes in this ministry, and for the women that she looks after, Father God, and as she serves.
[01:29:41] I thank you for her life, Father God. I thank you for Aaron and his life and what he's doing on this platform, Father God. I pray that it can reach multitudes, Father, not for likes and not for views, but for your glory, and I honor what he's doing here, Lord. You know, I ask, Lord, that you got your hand on this, and you will take this to the heights that you wanna take it to I can see that it's coming from a real good place. I thank you, Lord, for the opportunity that you've given me to just share this testimony.
[01:30:16] If it can help one person, it was worth it. It was worth it. Jesus is the best decision I've ever made. The Bible says, "Ask anything in my name and I will do it. Up until now, you've not asked anything in my name," the name of Jesus. That scripture changed my life. Up until that point, I'd never asked anything in his name. All power is in the name of Jesus, and he said, "You will do greater things than I have done if we just have faith and be filled and baptized by the Holy Spirit." So I thank you, Lord Jesus.
[01:30:59] I thank you, Father God. I yearn to know you better by the power of your Holy Spirit I thank you, Lord, for healing. I thank you for deliverance. I thank you, Lord, for showing us what your real church looks like I pray for everybody's calling, Lord, that you will make it known to them, that you will bestow the gifts of the Spirit upon each individual, Lord, that is watching this podcast right now in Jesus' name. Just fill 'em up, Father God, with your Holy Spirit. Give them the gift of tongues. Let someone interpret. Let someone prophesy. Let someone teach. Let someone heal, Father God I'm just absolutely blown away for what you've done in our lives and what you continue to do.
[01:31:46] I pray for anybody suffering. Just walk through the door. You know, Jesus is at the door. Go to the door. It's, it's the door of our heart And for anybody that doesn't know Jesus, I just urge you to pray and say this after me. Lord Jesus Christ, I believe you are the Son of God and the only way to God, that you died on the cross for my sins and rose again on the third day. Lord, I am a sinner. I come to you now for mercy and forgiveness, and I believe you do forgive me, and I thank you for it, Father God.
[01:32:33] Step into my life, Lord Jesus, and be my personal Lord and Savior. Amen. Amen, brother. God bless you and your ministry and the work you're doing over that in Wales. So I'm gonna link to your details in the show notes in the description below if anyone get, wanna gets in contact with Martin. Whereabouts in Wales exactly are you, Martin? Okay. We are, uh, in the very north. So we are in a place called Llandudno, which is L-L-A-N-D-U-D-N-O, Llandudno. And it's in Conwy County, which is C-O-N-W-Y. Yeah, if you are in the area, please do come, and, uh, you know, I'll… Some link may be in the description in the, in, in the bio or whatever on this, uh, podcast.
[01:33:26] Uh, feel free to get in touch with us. If anyone's ever in the area of that, of North Wales, you can find the details in the, in the description, and, uh, can attend one of Martin's amazing, um, services that he, that he holds up there, and see the great work that's happening in, uh, in North Wales. Martin, thanks so much for coming on. God bless you, man. Perfect. Thank you, brother.